How to Conquer the Hammock

On my recent trip to the Philippines, I decided to set myself the task of finally conquering the hammock. I have tried ‘hammocking’ many times, but every attempt just ended in complete disaster. That was until now, when I took a new approach to the hammock, and after alot of trial and error, I finally became a bona fide ‘hammocker’. Certificate and all (well, if I made one on my computer and printed it i’d have one!).

So, I thought I would share my hammock wisdom with all of you, in the hope that you too can join the hammock club!

Step 1

Check the hammock before trying to ‘mount’ it. This may seem obvious but by doing this simple step, you can avoid inevitable embarrassment and failure. Often one of the ropes tying the hammock to the tree has come loose, or there is a larger hole than usual where the parts of the hammock ‘criss cross’. This is a crucial step and one I would urge you not to skip. Trust me.

Hammock Bohol Beach Club

Step 2

Choose a time when no one is around. Maybe wake up early when the beach is empty, or when everyone is having their afternoon nap! I’d advise against trying at night though, darkness is not a friend when it comes to ‘hammocking’. It can result in you missing the hammock altogether. Again, another lesson I have learnt the hard way.

Step 3

Ensure you are wearing appropriate attire. You do not want to find that when you fail to get into/out of the hammock gracefully, that you end up showing your fellow hammockers more than they bargained for. Also, hammocking can leave rope marks on you if you have too much exposed skin and can result in some unfortunate rope burns! Especially when you are a novice.

Step 4

To get into the hammock, reverse into it. Don’t ever try to get in front ways, it wont ever work. You want to place your bum in the middle bit of the hammock. If you sit too close to the front you will tip out onto your bum with a thump, too far to the back and you will fall backwards onto your back with your legs in the air. Not the intended position for this activity!

Step 5

Once your bum is securely placed in the middle of the hammock, swing your legs into the hammock also, resulting in your body twisting 90 degrees to a lying down position. Shimmy your upper body up the hammock until you find yourself in a comfortable position. Congratulations, you are now safely in the hammock.

I hope this guide has helped to give you the confidence to try out the hammock on your next holiday. Once you are in the hammock, it really is rather comfy, and you won’t want to get back out (least of all because it is pretty much just as hard to get back out as it was to get in!).

Let me know how you get on with your hammock attempts. Oh, and before you go, just a couple of extra tips:

  1. Only ever attempt hammocking when sober. It requires good balance.
  2. Have all items you could possibly need on or within reach of you. If you need to stretch to reach something, you will fall out!
  3. Make sure someone is around once you have conquered the hammock, to get photographic proof of your achievement.
  4. Most of all, enjoy hammocking to your hearts content!

Good luck and happy hammocking!

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4 Comments

  1. October 18, 2016 / 11:25 am

    Haha loved this post, made me giggle at work. Glad you conquered the art of hammocking!!!

  2. Shelly Belly
    October 18, 2016 / 11:41 am

    I wish I had read this before my hammock experience! After ending up face down eating sand I gave up! Very funny piece – made me laugh at work too!

    • girlgoesto
      October 31, 2016 / 8:39 pm

      Aw thank you! Haha I am glad I am not the only one with hammock trouble!!

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